How to Find Grace When the World Seems Upside Down

 

(Or At Least How to Fake It Until You Do)

So, you’re starting over. Maybe your life just went through the spin cycle, and now you’re standing here, fresh out of the metaphorical dryer—wrinkled, slightly shrunken, and unsure which way is up. Welcome to the club! We have snacks.

Starting over is weird. One minute, you’re living your life, knowing where your coffee mugs are, and the next, you’re staring at a pile of boxes in a place that doesn’t feel like home, wondering if your houseplants are judging you (they are). Maybe you’re single for the first time in decades, maybe you left a job, or maybe you’re just feeling like a character in the wrong sitcom. Whatever the reason, here you are, wading through the mess of reinvention.

Step One: Accept That It’s Weird

Seriously, it is. You’re going to feel awkward, like a baby deer on roller skates. You’ll second-guess yourself at least ten times before breakfast. Should you take up pottery? Move to Tuscany? Get bangs? (Spoiler: No to the bangs. Trust me.) The important thing is to accept that feeling untethered is part of the process. Growth always feels weird at first—like breaking in a new bra or trying kombucha for the first time. Just roll with it.

Step Two: Own the Awkwardness

Look, nobody expects you to have it all together. People respect honesty. If someone asks how you’re doing and you feel like a raccoon in a trench coat trying to pass as a person, say that. Not only is it refreshingly real, but you’ll also find out that everyone else is faking it too. You don’t have to have a perfect plan, you just need a sense of humor and a willingness to keep going, one awkward step at a time.

Step Three: Give Yourself a Win

Starting over can feel like a never-ending list of things you haven’t figured out yet. So, give yourself something small but tangible that makes you feel accomplished. Cook an elaborate meal just for yourself. Sign up for that yoga class you’ve been eyeing. Master the art of opening a bottle of wine without a corkscrew (this is a life skill). Small victories build confidence, and confidence builds momentum.

Step Four: Find Your People

Whether it’s a Facebook group, a local club, or just a friend who nods at you like, yeah, I get it, you need people. Community keeps you sane when you start wondering if you made a huge mistake (you didn’t). And if you don’t have a solid support system yet, go create one. Start conversations, say yes to invitations, and for the love of all things good, don’t ghost your own life.

Step Five: Laugh. A Lot.

If you can’t find grace, at least find humor. Laugh at the ridiculousness of starting over. Laugh at the fact that you got lost in your own neighborhood or accidentally joined a knitting club because you misread an event listing. Life is absurd, and the only way to get through the weird, messy, beautiful middle of reinvention is to laugh your way forward.

Here’s the thing: you don’t need to have a detailed, bullet-pointed plan for the rest of your life right now. You just need to keep showing up, keep finding little joys, and keep reminding yourself that you are braver than you think.

You got this. And if not? At least you didn’t get bangs.